Don't Touch The Boob! - Shore Leave Con Flail 2010

[hihoplastic]

Disclaimer: This is REALLY long. And full of quotes, random stuff, food hunts, and things not related to SGA, the con itself, or Torri. ...it also extolls upon the virtues of how hot Torri is. Repeatedly. Includes pictures and flail. And spazzing. Enjoy. (Or run for your life.)



I don't even know where to begin with this. So much happened this weekend and it was all so amazing, I'm still completely overwhelmed. There are definitely things I'm going to leave out of this report. For a more official version, see krisrussel's account over at GateWorld or on her LJ, or drewandian's for something more concise, but still awesome.

Friday:

Landed in Newark and parted ways with snapplesons :( Then headed for the Amtrak station, accidentally spent $15 on absolutely useless train tickets, had a freak out with American money (Susan B Anthony looks like a man, okay! It's not my fault.), lugged my bags (made promise to yell at my dad, re: "Duffel bags will be so much easier!" ...MY ASS.) and eventually made it to the train, and then to Baltimore, and then to the motel, where I proceeded to shower, change, and fall asleep.

A few hours later torrealis arrived! We left a note for krisrussel and went to find some dinner. Nothing around except an Italian joint called Basta Pasta (lol), so we went there. torrealis spent the entire time either looking for Torri, talking about Torri, or daydreaming about Torri. (Not that we can blame her... ^^) About twenty minutes later krisrussel arrived! So we all had dinner together and chatted and it 'twas awesome.

(Sidenote: krisrussel and I experienced the first vegan!fail of the US (lovely waiter-man forgot to replace the egg pasta with something else) and I got a fabulous stomach ache and experienced a bout of falafel nostalgia! Then someone mentioned hummus and I gagged a little and decided french fries were my friends.)

I do not remember what happened after that? Oh! We watched Community (really hilarious!) and I think I emailed a bit? and then passed out pretty early (torrealis was already asleep).

Apparently drewandian and Mandy arrived at about 2:30am, but I completely missed it. I *think* I heard voices at one point, but couldn't wake up long enough to find out who it was. So, I met them the next morning when I rolled over and was all, "OH. THERE'S ANOTHER CHICK IN THIS BED. OKEDOKE." and then passed out again.

Annnnd then stuff happened? We went looking for breakfast at one point, and then - oh, no! I remember. I think we went to the con first to register and walk around and look at stuff, and drewandian and I were very, "oooh, ahhh, special" as we were both con!n00bs, and krisrussel kept valiantly trying to usher us toward the registration, while the rest of us were distracted by posters of hot and half-naked chicks, as well as all of Torri's photos for sale, and torrealis scouting the room like a pro looking for T.

Here are some really bad pics from my phone:


Entrance Hall


Stuff for Sale


Photos of Torri! :D


Badges!


Action Figures!


BSG Dude #39471038


Aaah Meg Ryan! (:D @ miss_atom and snapplesons)



krisrussel finally managed to get us downstairs and registered, and then we were off to find food! Which turned into an hour-long adventurous search for the Elusive Chilies (TM). (We asked about half a dozen people for directions, and probably drove passed it at least twice without realizing it. Oops.) But eventually we were successful!



...and then I got sick again because the nice waiter!man forgot to have the kitchen remove the milk-based salad dressing. Vegan!fail part 2!

Then we went back to the con-hotel and watched Stargate Atlantis: Rising with other fans! It was pretty awesome. We were probably the most obnoxious people there, though. And definitely the youngest! So weird. I think the average age of the con was around... idk... 45? But there were people in their 60s and maybe 70s walking around, fangirling over Hercules and Catherine Hicks, etc! It was pretty cool.



After that we went to panels, I believe. First a Sanctuary Panel, and then an Atlantis Panel. I took notes in my book that anuna_81 bought for me! They look like this:

Sanctuary Panel: Where There's a Will, There's A Way

I thought it was going to be ~super!interesting and !awesome...and it wasn't. So most of my notes are null and void, save the sarcasm (oh gee, that sounds like Elizabeth and summary of the panel: Will is a woman.) and a written conversation between torrealis and myself that goes as follows:

hihoplastic: Blah blah blah...
torrealis: Where's T? O.O
hihoplastic: Making out with John? ^^
torrealis: In the closet? :P
hihoplastic: Should we go find her?
torrealis: YEAH, BB!
hihoplastic: Let's go! Tooorriiii where are youuuuu?
torrealis: TORRIII *looks under the table*
hihoplastic: à la Bliss?
torrealis: With John/Joe! :D
hihoplastic: :D Why is this not real life??
torrealis: BECAUSE RL SUCKS!!!
hihoplastic: ... *note to self: don't let Torri see this journal*
torrealis: RIGHT, WOULD BE AWKWARD.

and I tried valiantly not to fall asleep. multicolour, I tried to take notes for you! But really, it was so stupid and boring, I don't think there's anything in there you'd be interested in. But if you want to see, I'll type them up!

next up:

Atlantis Panel: Weir Outta Here!

This was a bit of a let down, as we were expecting (from the title) to have an hour conversation with random people about how Elizabeth Weir is awesome and Mallozzi is a wanktard. Alas, the disclaimer they gave us right from the start was that the title was merely an ode to Torri (because she was there) and the panel itself was Atlantis gen. LAAAME. It was still pretty interesting, though, and there was a guy on the panel with an awesome name I can't remember who loves Torri and Elizabeth and was basically a giant fangirl. So! Things that happened:

- One of the panelists walked in and mentioned how hot it was, and goes to take off his shirt. O.O! from the people in the room; dude laughs and reveals he has another shirt on underneath. (Audience signs in relief.) Dude: "You don't get that for free!"

- Guy With Awesome Name: "As they said in the Book of Genesis: there was Star Trek, and it was good."

- Told us that apparently Atlantis was supposed to preview after Season 5 of SG-1 but...something happened. I think they ran out of money? Don't recall.

- Also talked about how apparently McKay was never the first choice for Atlantis', and apparently that's why he sounds kind of "off" in Rising - because the dialogue was actually written for a different character. Gotta love Stargate writers. *facepalm* In seriousness, though, how awesome is David Hewlett for dealing with that crap?

- Guy With Awesome Name: "I want to make this perfectly clear: I did not forget about Teyla." (This was really funny at the time. I have no idea why.)

- "It was Teyla: The Vampire Slayer."

- There was a long discussion about the Wraith, and how wraith = space!vampires, and the Awesome Lady (who is writing Elizabeth Weir's memoirs! FTW) spoke about the relationship of Wraith to Humans, and how we're essentially cattle to them, which I loved because it's a point snapplesons brought up a long time ago, and makes so much sense! I could go into a whole vegan/vegetarian rant right now about how awesome it is and how cute cows are, but I shall spare you and get back to the fanflail.

- Guy With Awesome Name talked about how Weir was one of the few people on the show without an agenda. The military had one, Wraith had one, scientists had one, etc etc. And Elizabeth kind of got stuck mediating all of them, when all she really wanted was to learn as much as possible about the Ancients and Atlantis. (Poor BB)

- Side Note: SHUT UP OBNOXIOUS PERSON!!

- Long conversation about why Elizabeth was written out, lots of bullshit. Side note: It has NOTHING to do with canon on the show. It has everything to do with off-screen politics and it FUCKED EVERYTHING UP. To which I got a gangsta-like head-nod from krisrussel and felt vindicated.

- Guy With Awesome Name: "Zelenka was the smartest of them all!"

- Guy With Awesome Name: (re: Torri) "She was the hottest thing on TV. And it took all my willpower not to tell her that." WE LOVE THIS GUY A LOT. He also said, "I tell you something, after season three, I didn't drool at the screen as much." :D

- Guy With Awesome Name: "I am a stalker, but I'm trying to change my ways..." / "The stalker formerly known as..." HEE.

- Something about John's names for the Wraith; "I'd rather be called 'hey you' than Todd" that started out funny and then dissolved into intellectual!talk about the humans need to give the Wraith names or to make them relatable or something. I kind of stopped paying attention, as I couldn't stop thinking about S4/5 fuckery and was feeling all bitter.

- "Now they can search for the Klingon ship!" (re: Atlantis in Antarctica. I don't remember where that came from, but it was funny as hell.)

- Guy With Awesome Name: "Best thing about the show was Weir. Worst thing about the show was Weir leaving." DID I MENTION WE LOVE HIM?

- "Teyla's peeps!"

- How much everyone hated the "Earth crutch" post S1, and how Atlantis should have stayed out of contact. Totally agree.

- "Teyla was brown enough; let's give 'em the other one!" (re: writing out Ford.)

Of interest to Elizabeth fans: the author of Elizabeth's memoirs said the book should be out I think sometime late next year! It's kind of on hold, but definitely not being abandoned! Horray!

And I don't really remember what happened after that. I'm pretty sure torrealis and I wandered around looking for Torri, and some of the girls went to Catherine Hicks' panel, and then we went grocery shopping and then back to the motel. And I probably passed out shortly thereafter. ^^


Saturday

Okay. Wracking the brain, as it's been a week. I so should have done this the night after. Damnit.

We got up semi-early so, munched on leftovers in the hotel, and then went the con around 10am, I think. *references drewandian's post* OH! RIGHT. Okay, so, drewandian drove krisrussel, torrealis and I to the con, and then went back to our motel because Mandy wasn't feeling too good. :/

aaand my pasta water is boiling over. BRB.

Okay! Crisis averted. So, yes. krisrussel went...somewhere. Sorry, bb. I have no idea. I've blanked, on account of -- oh, no, lies. krisrussel was totally with us. I suck as a human. (I think she'll forgive me, as she knows why I forgot. ^^) BECAUSE WE SAW TORRI HIGGINSON.

It was actually rather embarassing, and I felt like a ho. We were standing downstairs where the autograph lines are, and I was talking to this dude about a fan-movie that's being made about Firefly/Serenity. It looked really interesting, and they had posters and such, and the lead actor (f) was there! So she offered to sign my poster. And right as she was signing it, torrealis smacks me in the arm and starts squealing and freaking out, because TORRI FREAKING HIGGINSON was sitting at the table across the hall.

TORRI HIGGINSON. ELIZABETH FREAKING WEIR, OKAY. HOLYSHIT.

Soooo I kind of forgot about the nice lady signing my poster. I tried to be polite! And said thank you and congratulations on the role and then let torrealis drag me away, passed Torri outside so we could flail and creepily watch her through the window and smoke away our anxieties.

(multicolour and turniptruck, you can smack me once each and that's it. I'm cutting you off.)

krisrussel had a (great? annoying? oy gevalt?) time rolling her eyes at our super!fangirl antics - i.e., hand-flailing, pointing, squealing in indecipherable English (and probably Finnish and Hebrew, too). As soon as we remembered we were on Earth, we immediately called drewandian and left the most spastic voice message ever demanding that she get down to the con asap because "Jesus" had arrived.

(torrealis and I spent a lot of time discussing how Torri is actually Jesus. And Muhammad. And Moses. And Allah. And the Buddah. And Mother Nature. Etc etc. All in one. We called her "Jesus" for short. ^^ krisrussel rolled her eyes at us.)

Eventually we called down enough to get in line; torrealis and I were griping each other's hands the entire time beneath the table out of excitement, lol. We finally got up to Torri, who looked ADORABLE, duh. She had on a grey shirt and jeans (which torrealis called the day before!) AND I SAW BOOB. BOOBS, ACTUALLY. IT WAS AWESOME.

...ahem. SO ANYWAY. torrealis and krisrussel gave Torri Belgian chocolates and got hugs in return! Lucky bitches. :P I gave her a wall thinger from Israel with a dove on it that says luck / health / success in Hebrew. And she thanked me and said it was wonderful because she needs decorations for her house, which is apparently on stilts right now and in need of some sprucing up. Andddd I honestly don't remember much else because I was too busy grinning like a total dweeb. BECAUSE WE WERE TWO FEET FROM TORRI FREAKING HIGGINSON. AND I SAW BOOB. DID I MENTION THAT? IT WAS AWESOME.



AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS AWESOME? AT SOME POINT, krisrussel ASKED TORRI IF SHE WANTED TO HAVE DRINKS WITH US. DRINKS. WITH TORRI FREAKING HIGGINSON. And Torri was so sweet and said she'd definitely think about it and if she wasn't too tired she would! (!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--a very close resemblance to my face.)

So then we went outside and drewandian finally showed up and we all went back downstairs and stood in Torri's line again (#2) and drewandian, bless her heart, worked up the nerve to show Torri her sweet tattoo! We were so proud of her! She did awesome. (She has Torri's ☮ + ♡ + ☺ signature as a tattoo, and the peace sign is upside down because that's the way Torri drew it. And torrealis made me ask why it's upside down, and Torri laughed and said that's just the way it comes out sometimes; it isn't intentional. But we teased her about it a little, and it was cute. And then my brain went into HOLYOMGFANGIRLMODETORRIHIGGINSONELIZABETHWEIRFLAILOMGFLAILDON'TPASSOUTFLAIL-mode.

>

The lead-up to the tattoo showing was also adorable, as drewandian told Torri she had a tattoo "of her autograph" or "of her signature" or something like that...and Torri got kind of this look of pure horror on her face, until drewandian showed her it was just the ☮ + ♡ + ☺ and not Torri's name. And they laughed about it, and Torri confessed she'd been a little worried, and drewandian told her she wouldn't even get her children's names tattooed on her, and not to worry and it was SO SUPER CUTE! And I was really super proud (and envious) of drewandian for having a normal!person conversation with TORRI HIGGINSON. (Yes. Her name will appear in caps a LOT. DEAL.)

Next we went outside and flailed our limbs and fangirled, while Mandy and krisrussel looked on with dismay. ^^

And... oh! Right. Then krisrussel and I went to Katee Sackoff's Q&A, which was super adorbs. I honestly don't remember much of what she said, because I was still on a Torri high, and super nervous (WTF) for her Q&A which was next. So, Katee talked, and I have some pictures!


click for bigger

krisrussel also has pictures, from both days Q&A, and they're here, along with a HUGE batch of amazing Torri photos. And you should all go look at these and kiss krisrussel's feet and write her fic and make her artwork and stuff for uploading all of these. YAY krisrussel!!! *hugs*

After Katee's Q&A, krisrussel and I ran to the front to snag seats for Torri's Q&A - which torrealis and I TAPED. YES. WE HAVE THE WHOLE THING ON TAPE. CAUSE WE'RE AWESOME.

...except torrealis has it on her camcorder, and forgot the USB cord. So. It'll be a while. But until then, you can watch a clip of it on youtube:

And this goes without saying, BUT SHE WAS SO ADORABLE. torrealis and I kept freaking out in our seats (...multicolour, get your brain out of the gutter! I can see it sliding. ^^) And I cannot wait until torrealis uploads everything and posts it! BECAUSE I NEEEEEED IT.

...maybe I will bring a cord when I visit her in Seattle in a few weeks. *plots*

And anywayyyy. YES. SHE WAS SO CUTE. And had the audience cracking up WAY more than Katee :P all the time! The best part, for me anyway, was finally getting up the guts to ask Torri (in front of an audience! That is HUGE for me.) if she had heard of The Complete Heros project by Martin Firrell (the one that Joe Flanigan and Nathan Fillion did) and if so, was she going to do it? ...of course, my question wasn't worded like that. It was more like this:

*onebreath* hiokaysoireallyloveElizabethandialsoloveSaveMySoulandyoursmallerworksliketheprojectwithAndyWhiteandiwaswonderingifyouhadheardanythingfromMartinFirrellaboutTheHerosProjectcauseJoewasinitanditseemsawesomeandpleasehavemybabiesandiloveyouandhi.

...so, not so much that last part. But the rest of it. In one breath. And Torri made kind of a :O face when I mentioned Save My Soul and Andy White, and seemed genuinely surprised that I (we) knew about them. Which was kinda cool. And also made me feel a bit like a stalker. But anyway, she said Martin hadn't approached her, but that if he did, she'd do it! ("I'm an actor - I'll do anything!" HEE.) So I think a few days later, drewandian tweeted Martin Firrell about it!

CONVO:

drewandian: @martinfirrell Torri said that she would LOVE to do a project with you...so call her! (after the ger/uru game tho!)
Martin: @drewandian That's great! When/where did you talk to Torri?
drewandian: @martinfirrell I saw Torri this past weekend at the Shore Leave con. We asked about your project and she's all for it!
torrealis: @martinfirrell so what did she say? Is she gonna do it? :D
Martin: @torrealis my lovely project director Emma is picking that conversation up with Torri right now!

:DDDDDDDDDD

SO. If Torri shows up on The Complete Heros Project, you can thank drewandian and I. 'CAUSE WE'RE AWESOME. (GIMME YOUR CHICKEN!)

Things I remember...Torri being obsessed with the football score, random creepy guys, too many questions about Atlantis (and Torri being ridiculously diplomatic as usual). The two days for Q&A kind of blend, so I'm not sure when she said what, but I definitely remember her (lovingly) calling her fans "fuckers" - (re: Stonehenge Apocalypse: "I figured, 'no one's gonna watch this!' ...I forgot about you fuckers! Just for a minute."

HEE.

Aaand someone asking her about working with several people, and she went on and on about how nice such and such a person is, how lovely they are, how sweet, etc.; and then the person asked about someone else and she goes, "He's a jackass." LOL. And then of course laughed and backtracked and said he was a sweetheart, and that she just had to shake up her answers a bit, as it was getting boring. *g*

SHUT UP, CATHERINE, AND GIVE ME PICTURES.











(for the record, I keep having to reference drewandian's post to remember what came next. ^^)

RIGHT! PHOTO OPS! So, we had a bit of a scare, because torrealis forgot her photo cards in the motel, and we didn't have time to go back and get them. But the Shore Leave people were nice and worked it out, and when we got up there there was barely anyone there! (Applause to krisrussel for being the brains of the outfit.) So drewandian took her pictures, and then I took my pictures, and then drewandian and I took two pictures together, one of which is going to Croatia. ♥

And then I think my brain died again? 'Cause, you know - HUGGED AND TOUCHED TORRI HIGGINSON. NGH. Aaand what else? Oh! We were trying to figure out how to take the second picture together, and Torri was so cute and kept throwing out suggestions, and even mimed getting down on the ground so we could do pyramid style - and drewandian and I just kind of laughed awkwardly with mild horror, 'cause in case you haven't noticed, Torri is ONE TINY LADY, OKAY. LIKE. DAMN. EAT A SANDWICH, WOMAN. I spent the whole weekend desperately wanting to bring her home (...er, for more reason than one) and FEED HER LOTS OF PASTA. So in the end we just did a group hug! And I got a Torri!squish. AND IT WAS AWESOME.

And then we went outside to flail again. :D

And then drewandian and I's afternoons differ, so I don't exactly remember what happened, lol. I think I wandered around with...someone. torrealis? And maybe bought stuff? Je ne sais pas. I'd just spent time IN PHYSICAL PROXIMITY TO TORRI FREAKING HIGGINSON. SO. BRAIN = MUSH.

I will spend this time to go on a tangent: TORRI IS REALLY FUCKING HOT, OKAY? Not in an Angeline Jolie!style way, but holygod. I thought she was gorgeous on TV. She's even more amazingly beautiful in person. And I am so ridiculously attracted to her it's not even funny. (torrealis and I had a nice long conversation about how we'd like to jump her bones. I will not repeat that conversation here. ^^) NGH. SO FUCKING GORGEOUS. I have no words. I just want to stare at her all day.

...you know, in a really non-creeper sort of way. :/

ANYWAY. TORRI'S HOT. DUH. MOVING ON.

DID I MENTION I SAW BOOB? I FORGET.

*references drewandian* RIGHT! So, we went to stalk Torri AGAIN in the autograph line (#3), and krisrussel politely asked again if Torri wanted to have drinks with us, but unfortunately she was exhausted. She had a HUGE autograph line, and was there way past any of the other actors. So, it was very :(((( but understandable, poor bb. She said she might be able to the next day, though. (!!!!)

After that I think we went in search of food again? And we were all really punchy because of the OMGTORRI!high, and flailing, and I was jet-lagged and nobody was really sleeping well, and then we added tequila to the mix and that was hilarious for about two hours...

...and then I fell asleep. With my glasses on. I vaguely remember Mandy poking me in the foot at one point, but. I was out. Much to the amusement, apparently, of everyone else. (Thank you for not freezing my bra!)


Sunday

Breakfast in the hotel. Drive to con. Buy stuff. I think we stalked Torri in the autograph line another two or three times *g* and I got my personal photo signed, and the photo for anuna_81 signed as well, and managed to tell Torri how 'Nuna and I met and that I got to go visit her and it was amazing and I *think* she said that was wonderful but I don't entirely remember because um, hai, three feet from Torri Higginson. (No boob today, woe.) But she looked adorable and had her hair down (which inspired a freakout!flail from torrealis and I) and is, as far as I have ever seen, the only human being EVER who can pull of white pants. I HATE WHITE PANTS. ...but Torri looked hot in them.

...then again, as with Lisa Edelstein, Torri could wear a paper bag and look hot. So. that's not saying much. But still! HOT. And she has really great taste in jewelry. (I'm a jewelry whore, so that made me really happy.) Sooo there was the Q&A, and torrealis and I taped it, but only got half! WOE. So we audio'd the other half on my phone and it actually came out pretty good!

It is here if you want to download it (it's a bigass file - 33mb). Be warned.

And at one point I almost dropped the camera because Torri called herself a music snob! WHICH IS WHAT I CALL MYSELF! 'Cause I am. Ask anyone. And it was such a flaily moment; "And then I realized, just because other people listen to it doesn't mean it's not good." LOLOL. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. We still didn't get an answer to what exactly she has on her iPod, but. Hearing that she's kind of a music snob and into more underground artists and local bands made me really happy. :D

Again, there were too many questions about Atlantis. But she made the dolphin noise!!! torrealis and I flailed big time. And she curses a lot! And retold the story of RDA and "bugger me" - which, if you don't know it, goes like this (and is way funnier when she's telling it) -

Because she lived for quite some time in London, Torri uses a lot of British phrases in her speech and apparently one time on the set of SG-1, she was having a difficult time getting her lines (which, according to her, rarely happens, hee) and eventually got really frustrated and yelled, 'oh, bugger me!' ...to which RDA responded by throwing her against the wall and mock!making out with her. ^^ Because 'bugger me' in England is like 'damn it!/I'll be damned!' and 'bugger me' in the US is more like... well. Urban Dictionary. ^^ And that story cracks me up. I know it's on youtube somewhere! But I couldn't find it, fail.

Aaand then at the end the staff gave her a Shore Leave bunny which she made do naughty things. ^^ IT WAS AWESOME. And hilarious. And after that there was an awkward bathroom encounter, with torrealis and I flailing (again) and krisrussel and Mandy rolling their eyes (again). GOOD TIMES.















Then we headed to the bar to watch the football game, because that's where Torri was. So we stood a few feet from her and fangirled while Mandy walked right up to her and started a conversation like it was no big deal. HAVE I MENTIONED I HATE MANDY? I DO. EXCEPT NOT AT ALL, 'CAUSE I LOVE HER TO DEATH AND SHE'S AWESOME. BUT I ALSO TOTALLY HATE HER GUTS. 'CAUSE SHE TALKED TO TORRI FREAKING HIGGINSON. While krisrussel was too interested in the game (weirdo), drewandian made awkward comments about Bliss (LMFAO) and torrealis and I just stood there like idiots, knowing absolutely nothing about football and not being able to come up with anything remotely intelligent to say.

Plus, there was this obnoxious dude dressed in a BSG costume that would NOT SHUT UP. He was totally hitting on her, and torrealis and I agreed that was not cool and we should take him out back. ;)

But really. He was annoying. And if he hadn't been there, we might have been able to say...something. Anything. In, you know. English. But we didn't. But it was okay! Because we were like, RIGHT NEXT TO HER. Trying valiantly not to stare creepily.

But Torri was super sweet, and even though she was trying to watch the game, still posed for a few photos (with R2-fuckin'-D2!) and others. And showed us pictures of Sedge on her iPhone (which she had dropped and the screen shattered, but she was too cheap to pay $50 to get it fixed; my kinda gal!) and a video of Sedge being adorable.

And then she had to go back to the autograph line...so we followed. And I got my book signed, the one anuna_81 gave me! And I have Arabic script written in the front, and Torri remembered that I'd spent time in Israel, and asked me if I spoke Israeli (LMAO SO FREAKING CUTE; I immediately texted roga, to which she replied, "Lolol Torri. You would totally learn Israeli for her, don't even try denying." ...which is totally true.) And I said yes, that I'd been studying Hebrew and Arabic and she thought that was cool and asked me how many other languages ("as if that's not enough!") I speak, and I admitted to bad high-school French, but that was it. And she signed my book! And I love it and now it's even more special. Torri signed 'Nuna book!! I LOVE MY LIFE.

Another hilarious conversation! Regarding Torri's ☮ + ♡ + ☺ signature!
torrealis *looking at her autograph that only has ☮ + ♡*: I want my happiness!
krisrussel *looking at her autograph, too*: At least you got peace and love. I didn't get shit!
hihoplastic: You got screwed.
drewandian: Yeah, you totally got jipped.
torrealis *distracted*: OH, my make-up!

LOL, ILU torrealis.

AND OH! REWIND. So, we're standing in line, trying to be last so we (=krisrussel) can ask if she wants to have drinks with us. ( (I promised to bake her a "Joe Sized Vegan Cake (with Accurate Proportions!)" if drinks with Torri worked out.) So we're ushering all these people passed/past? (FUCKMEIFIKNOW) us and they're giving us weird looks, and krisrussel became The Normalcy Buffer, between drewandian, torrealis and I, and the rest of the 'sane' world. Which worked up until we got to the table, where one lady had this pencil-sketched drawing of the Atlantis' cast. And the following conversation ensued:

krisrussel: Ooh, I've been looking for something like that for my tattoo!
hihoplastic: o.O? Huh? (in my head: Ma?)
krisrussel: I'm thinking of getting a tattoo like that - *points to Joe and Torri's faces* - but I haven't found a sketch I like yet. This one is really good, though!
hihoplastic: ...HUH? (in my head: lo mevinah.)
krisrussel: ...the sketch. ...for my tattoo. I want it on my leg.
hihoplastic: ...you want their faces?? On your leg??
krisrussel: Yeah, I've been thinking about it!
hihoplastic: ...
krisrussel: What?
hihoplastic: WAIT. You want Joe and Torri's faces...tattooed on your leg??
krisrussel: Not Joe and Torri, John and Elizabeth!
hihoplastic: THEIR FACES?!
drewandian: LOL, I won't even get my kids names tattooed, remember?
torrealis: WHERE'S TORRI?!
Mandy: She's right there, dude.
torrealis: OH GOOD.
hihoplastic: THEIR FACES?!?
krisrussel: ...what?
hihoplastic: ...YOU ARE NO LONGER THE NORMALCY BUFFER. YOUR NORMALCY PRIVILEGES HAVE BEEN REVOKED.
krisrussel: Why? (in my head: lama!?)
hihoplastic: BECAUSE YOU WANT THEIR FACES PERMANENTLY ETCHED ONTO YOUR BODY. THAT IS WEIRD, DUDE.
krisrussel: No it isn't!
hihoplastic: WIERD.
krisrussel: Not!
hihoplastic: What are you going to do? Next time you see her, "Oh hai, Torri, look at this tattoo I have of your FACE"?? *mimes pulling up pant leg*
krisrussel: Well, I -
hihoplastic: REVOKED. You are as weird and fangirly as the rest of us! GET IN THE BACK OF THE LINE!
krisrussel: *expression says: bite me*

All in good jest, of course! I ♥ krisrussel. ...but will totally make fun of her for eternity if she gets a Joe/Torri tattoo. ^^

aaand so then we finally got up there, and then there was the signing, and then krisrussel asked if Torri wanted to have drinks with us?

AND SHE SAID YES. SHE FUCKING SAID YES.

torrealis and I grabbed onto each other for support and got out of the room as fast as humanly possible so we could go outside, smoke a cigarette and FREAK OUT. (Mandy and krisrussel looked at us like we were nuts. drewandian did a fabulous job looking clam, but I know her inner fangirl was having a spaz attack. :P ) And then a whole conversation about food ensued (to which drewandian and I violently opposed the idea of) and we went to the bar and got a table and waited for Torri.

And waited. And waited a bit more. She'd said she had to check out, so we weren't in a rush or anything. Just...the anxiety. The suspense. It built. So, I did what I always do whenever I've been waiting too long for my food to come:

I went to the bathroom. (torrealis came with me. Buddy system!)

And when I got back, there was Torri! AT OUR FUCKING TABLE. LIKE WE WERE ALL BFFS.

And I cannot even. It was so amazing. We just talked. And laughed. And talked. In English! I remembered to speak English. Go me.

And krisrussel talked about FedCon and how Joe makes woobie faces all through S4/5; Torri said "aw, bless him" and said the next time she saw him she'd have to give him a hug instead of her usual punch in the gut, hee. They also talked about designing a website for her (!!!!!) so hopefully that'll go through! (I also kind of hate krisrussel. ^^)

drewandian about her kids, and Torri asked questions about them, and Mandy had pictures on her camera so they showed them to T, who said they were adorable (drewandian was so giddy afterwards! SO CUTE).

Mandy was Mandy, and awesome, and asked her how she deals with the creepy fans, and her reply was something along the lines of, "95% of the people are fantastic. 5% are a little creepy, and you don't really want to deal with them, but it's worth it to spend time with the other 95%. Even though sometimes you just want to go, "Get away from me muthafuckas!" SO CUTE.

She asked us all where we had come from, what we were doing with our lives, and actually seemed genuinely interested in how we were. AND SHE BOUGHT US A ROUND OF DRINKS. TORRI FREAKING HIGGINSON BOUGHT US DRINKS. And I helped her carry them to the table and felt like a good little fangirl. ^^

Our awesome evening was slightly interrupted by the presence of Awkward Man, who literally just pulled an extra chair up to our table and wouldn't go away and kept butting in (RUDE), but Torri was very sweet and talked to him just the same. And then there was Drunk Dude and Dragon Dude (It's My Strong Arm!/Tom) who kept trying to sell us this (rather pretty) hand-made dragon for $120. And Torri, bless her, verbally bitch-slapped the drunk guy and told him to be more careful with Dragon Dude's artwork. She really stood up for him and it was very sweet, and kind of made me love her even more. AND she sat with us for nearly two hours. TWO HOURS! Her friend actually had to remind her that she was supposed to be upstairs having a party with Edward James Olmos. EDWARD JAMES OLMOS! SHE FORGOT ABOUT EDDIE! BECAUSE OF US! and other reasons I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW. :D

OH!! Bugger me, I can't believe I almost forgot this! So rewind: we're all sitting at the table, waiting for Torri to show up. And I was a nervous wreck, and I think torrealis and drewandian were too (and krisrussel and Mandy can just bite me :P). And we were waiting and it seemed like it was taking forever (because of the anxious) so I joked I was going to try the old restaurant trick - you know, when your food is taking FOREVER to come, somebody gets up and goes to the loo and voila! food on the table when they get back? Well, torrealis and I had to pee, so we went and came back and lo and behold - TORRI. I had to bite my lip to keep from accidentally comparing her to food to her face, lol.

Also, I may have been grinning like a giant idiot, so. Words = hard when your lips are splitting.

AAAAND this too! So before she bought us a round of drinks, she was going around the table asking what we wanted - krisrussel said she didn't drink, so she'd stick with pineapple juice, I told her I was vegan, so no milk, etc etc., and so before she got up to go to the bar she went around and confirmed everyone's drinks, and when she got to me she goes, "And you'll do anything, right?" and I said, "Yeah, pretty much." and she smirks and goes, "I heard that about you!"

...AND THEN I DIED OF GUTTERBRAIN. AND IT WAS AWESOME. AND GUTTER-FILLED. NGHGH.

And then other things happened that I won't mention because they're either a) embarrassing or b) self-incriminating. ^^

But the gist of the day is that WE HAD DRINKS WITH TORRI HIGGINSON. AND IT WAS BEYOND AWESOME. And I love torrealis, drewandian, krisrussel and Mandy SO FREAKING MUCH. AND I WANT TO GO BACK. AND BRING TORRI, TOO.

To wrap it up, I shall spam you with quotes from the weekend that will only be hilarious to torrealis, drewandian, krisrussel, Mandy, and myself. ^^

Random Drunk Girl (to torrealis): Oh! You're not Nicole. That would've been awkward.
torrealis (to hihoplastic): I should tweet that - I am not Nicole.
-
Random Drunk Girl's Friend: Don't you think she's had too many?
Random Smoking Guy: *shrugs* I support alcohol abuse.

--

hihoplastic (to torrealis): *fake!spazzing* Hi Torri! I've had! Six cups! Of coffee! How many have! You had?!

--

Mandy (noting a guy's hat that's the same as hers): Nice hat!
Dude: Thank you! We can both spend 11 bucks at Target.
Mandy: YES!

--

drewandian (to Mandy): You're surrounded by people who dress up in costumes; it's okay to like Glee.

--

torrealis (multiple times): I HAVE TO PEE.

--

drewandian (to torrealis): Swallow sandwich, not inhale.

--

drewandian: They're gonna be like, 'what were you guys on and can we have some?
torrealis: TORRI.

--

torrealis: I need my mayonnaise!
Mandy: This place has $11 dollar hot dogs and they give you two mayonnaise packets??

--

Mandy (really fast): IGOTPURPLEPAJAMAS!!
hihoplastic: (nearly spits out food)
Mandy: *glare* WHAT.
hihoplastic: PURPLEVAGINAS??
Mandy: PAJAMAS!

--

Vendor (to hihoplastic and torrealis): Anything I can do to help you ladies?
hihoplastic: We're looking for syphilis.

--

torrealis (babbling): Where's Torri? Do you think Torri's downstairs? Is she here yet? Where is she? IS SHE DOWNSTAIRS?
drewandian: How should I know? I left my X-Ray vision in my other pants.

--

krisrussel: I'm gonna make the webpage!
torrealis: And I'm gonna make the graphics!
drewandian: And I'm gonna comment on the guestbook page!

--

torrealis: It's like talking to Jesus!
drewandian: I talked to Jesus every day! We're tight. He's my homeboy.

--

hihoplastic: *reading the news*
Mandy: apparently stuff happens.
hihoplastic: Who the fuck knew?

--

torrealis (too loudly): Don't be such an ass!
krisrussel: Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you? *Gibbs slap*

--

krisrussel (?): Sparky boobs!
drewandian: I'll get Joe to sign one and Torri to sign the other.
torrealis: I ship them!

--

Mandy: My eye just got attacked by like, 20 glowsticks.

--

krisrussel: You can go ahead of us. We don't mind being last.
Dude: *eyebrow* Oh. I think I understand.

--

torrealis: I want my money!
Mandy: You're drunk.

--

torrealis' snorting tally: 40!

--

Mandy: It's my strong arm!

torrealis (loudly): And the guy with no arms!
drewandian: Shut up, he's right over there!

--

torrealis: I want my page!
krisrussel: You want your bitch?
hihoplastic: She's upstairs.

--

torrealis: People are tweeting me! What should I do?
Mandy: Tell them you're drunk.
torrealis: I'm retweeting.

--

torrealis (staring at the phone in her hand): What is this?
krisrussel: A TELEPHONE.

--

Somebody: Can we put [Torri] in the trunk?
torrealis (drunk): I've never been in the trunk!

--

"Don't touch the boob!"

aaand the others I could not put here. They will be in a sekrit post for you fine (naughty) ladies. ^^

And despite this being a novel, I'm sure I left things out. A lot of things. Some intentionally, some on accident. But basically, this was one of the best weekends of my entire life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm so lucky, I actually get to see torrealis again in just a few weeks! And drewandian and Mandy in a few months!!

To next year in Baltimore? ^^




...if anybody actually read that entire thing, I will die of shock.